Diversity in Friendship

Good day, Kajijis! Last Friday, we had a record-breaking number of you come to our group. Thank you, Shawna for hosting our large group – the food was awesome too! It was so great to have nine of you to discuss matters and get different viewpoints. We talked about support systems, and whether we’re satisfied with the support we have in our lives and where the gaps are in those systems. It sounds like we’re individually divided between needing more of a social circle of women and needing one or two close intimate friends. I believe that each are important and necessary in our lives and that we suffer when we only have one part of the whole. It’s not surprising that those with the close day-to-day friendships feel the desire and need to enhance their social circle, and those content with their social circle desire to find that intimate friendship or two. In my devotional about Celebrating Frienship, it reads,

Opposites attract, but can they stay good friends? Or does friendship depend on having lots of interests and opinions in common? “One of my great concerns – something I see frequently in Christian circles – is the tendency to isolate ourselves from those who are different from us,” says Luci Swindoll. “We gravitate toward people who think like we think, agree with us on everything, believe like we do, even dress the same. In so doing we miss wonderful, God-given opportunities to expand our understanding of the world and the people in it.” We also miss out on opportunities to grow personally and spiritually.

Of course, midst the diversity you need a soul mate or two – friends you connect with easily and deeply – to anchor the whole rollicking party. But before you shout, “Who’s got time for so many people?!” let’s clarify what diversity can pack into two or three friendships. Even if your friends resemble casts of thousands, you still need the essentials of depth and quality somewhere in that crowd. And let’s face it. Nobody’s just like you. (Thank God! That would be utterly boring.) The greatest examples of sisterhood still have individual differences, but they respect rather than revile, enjoy rather than envy, their friends. They take time to “settle in” with and accept one another, so what seems quirky grows endearing.

This Friday we’ll be meeting at Marisa’s house. The topic we’ll discuss this week is “How do you as a mom bring Christ to your kids? What are you doing right now while they are small?” Do you have any practical ideas you use on a daily or weekly basis to incorporate your faith into your family life? How do you best model your faith in Christ for your children? I can’t wait to hear your ideas as this has always been a guilt-producing struggle in my own life. Do we and can we ever feel as if we are doing all that we can to train up our children in the ways and admonitions of the Lord? Erin has recommended a book called The Most Important Place on Earth: What a Christian Home Looks Like and How to Build One by Robert Wolgemuth. Erin says there’s lots of great practical tips in it, and I’ve asked her to contribute some of these to the group on Friday. Looking forward to hearing all of your ideas on the subject…

Love,
Crystal

Master of Ceremonies

Hey, Kajijis! Today was a beautiful day that just got more beautiful as the day went on, didn’t it? It’s always nice to throw the kids outside for a bit to get some solitude. Anyway, a small group of us met today at Erin’s house. Thank you, Erin for hosting today. The coffee and croissants were yummy! We had a wonderful discussion about homeschooling vs. public or private schooling –it was really neat to talk about since all of us were in different stages with our kids and their education.

C.S. Lewis wrote, “For a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no ‘chances’. A secret Master of Ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, ‘Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you’ can say truly to every group of Christian friends, ‘You have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another.’ The friendship is not a regard for our discrimination and good taste in finding one another out… At this feast, it is He who has spread the board and it is He who has chosen the guests. It is He, we may dare to hope, who sometimes does (and always should) preside. Let us not reckon without our Host.”

“Whether you are blessed with soul mates who settle into the most comfortable
room inside you, or with those who walk with you just a little while, not one of
these people crosses your path by chance. Each is a messenger, sent by
God, to give you the wisdom, companionship, comfort, or challenge you need for a
particular leg of your spiritual journey.” Traci Mullins

One of the questions that I’d like us to think about in the coming week is: What is your support system like? Do you feel that you have enough of a support system around you? And what would your ideal support system look like for your life right now?

We’re in need of a host for next Friday so if anyone would like to offer, please let me know. Hosting is really simple as it requires nothing but your home (or yard if it’s nice out). Also a snack is usually provided for the group such as coffee with coffee cake, pastry, fruit, or whatever you have. Someone else can bring snacks for the kids. And don’t be scared off by the thought of having 20 women (and even more kids) in your house! Our group consistently averages about 4 women a week. As the weather gets warmer, I look forward to being able to meet at parks, playgrounds, beaches, etc.

I thank God for purposefully choosing each one of us for this group. Thank you for choosing to come along on this spiritual journey!

Crystal