Playing the Field, Part I

All life begins with play.

There are times as parents when we spy the sacred in our ordinary living. You know what I’m talking about – those moments when all of a sudden it hits you that this moment is a holy moment. Many of those moments may come when your child is finally asleep and looking like an angel when you know they’ve acted quite the opposite all day, but many moments seem to come when your child is in the midst of play. And whether you are actively playing with them or simply watching them play, you become aware of holiness in your midst – how blessed you are, how beautiful your child is, how joyful you/your child is at the moment, etc. In fact, play is in it’s essence joyful, is it not? But have you ever thought of play as holy or spiritual?

Play involves immense pleasure, even joy, of a holistic sort. Mind, body, spirit – all are engaged together. Sometimes play results in the visible, tangible sensations of a smile, laughter, muscle ache, or cleansing breath. Play has rich interpersonal and intergenerational potential, connecting us deeply to others, and is wonderful when done together in a communal or cooperative context. But play also involves activity done by oneself. One must be able to play well alone in order to play well with others. Play sparks and fuels imagination and creativity. It suspends reality but doesn’t supersede it. It can transform reality. It involves an attitude of delight and enjoyment – an embodiment of joy – as much as specific activity. In fact, any playful act can become work if the pleasure dissipates. Everyone should have equal access to play, regardless of talent, wealth, or the right outfit. Genuine play does not harm those playing or others around them.

Throughout history, play has been denounced by many parents and pastors alike. Think back to what church services were like even with children involved – 3 hour long sermons with not a felt board in sight (!), Sundays where no fun activities were allowed (unless you considered reading and studying the Bible for a large portion of the day fun), and Sabbaths when corporal punishment was deemed appropriate if you became too silly. Not surprisingly, few theologians over the course of history have considered play a component of creation and a practice of faith. This is a shame, perhaps owing to the association of God with rest or stasis and play with forbidden sensual pleasure or indulgence and pampering.

Johan Huizinga sees play quite differently and more of a foundational element to adult society. We may all know and believe that play is a fundamental component of childhood, but we may not realize from that component has come “adult forms of law, politics, art and religion. Practices of faith, even the liturgy itself, exist in direct continuity with play.”

I began with the quote, “All life begins with play.” How many times have you witnessed an adult (it could be a complete stranger) come near your child with the main objective of getting them to smile? Our first true interactions with our child are forms of play – making silly faces, singing songs and bouncing them, waving rattles in their face. The play of early eye contact between parent and infant creates a trustworthy world for both participants. This playful ritual actually enhances our potential to experience religious transcendence later in life and shapes our images of God.

Scripture also envisions play and child play in transformative roles at the beginning and end of time. In hymns of creation, the Psalmist pictures God as a God of play, a God who laughs, plays, and cavorts, not just a God of "rest."

Is it possible that Jesus himself welcomed children precisely because they play? Doesn't the imperative to "become like children" (Matthew 18:3) have something essential to do with prizing playfulness as a part of rejoicing in God's love? With children in play, we practice the freedom of the Garden and the laughter of resurrection, imaginatively resisting the powers that seek to define, capture, and destroy us.

More to come on the subject of play next week...

Crystal

All green text comes from Chapter 7 in In the Midst of Chaos by Bonnie J. Miller-McLemore.

Doing Justice and Walking Humbly with Kids, Part II

It is within the family that we first come to have that sense of ourselves and our relations with others that is at the root of moral development.₁

Love of those within our own family and care for the neighbors beyond the household are not mutually exclusive. There is an intricate connection between home and world, love of one’s own children and care of all God’s children. They are potentially complimentary and mutually enriching.

Does this mean we always have the time, money and resources to involve ourselves in public ministry? Maybe our heart is with foster children but circumstances don’t allow us to take in any kids. Maybe we are touched by the plight of the homeless, addicts, prostitutes, etc. Maybe we dream of rocking neglected babies in an orphanage far away and too expensive to travel to. But care of our own children can open our eyes to all other children as well.

The author outlines the following four ways to actualize love of other kids through love of one’s own kids:

1. we love our kids to learn how to love other kids
   
2. we love our kids for the sake of a better world
   
3. we teach our kids to care for others and to work for social justice
4. we model just love within our family₂
   

How then do parents work for peace and justice at home and in the larger world? The answer is at once simple and complicated: involve children every step of the way. (italics mine)

Practical suggestions in learning justice can be through daily conversations with your children, decisions about the use and placement of TV’s, video games, etc., and learning how to respect all those within the family. Are these small, daily efforts to do justice gestures in the night? I hope not. It’s hard to know for sure. But affirming mundane, routine conversation as a small act of doing justice essential to the faith life of the family is certainly a step in the right direction in a culture where spiritual often means inner peace, personal enrichment, and escape from the world’s injustices. Attending to these small acts with children has certainly intensified our own awareness about how intricately matters of justice infiltrate our lives and shape daily living.

One does justice even in the presence of the powerful passions felt toward one’s children by teaching, learning about, and indeed struggling over justice with them. Adults raise their own social awareness as they strive to raise socially aware children. In this practice, they turn the private task of raising children into an important public ministry.

The author also brings up the practice of serving others, namely one’s own family, by participating in daily chores. …children also need daily exercise of the practice of loving others as they love themselves, and this means a family system in which their pitching in is also essential to the family’s functioning. Children need family duties… “not just because they will learn discipline by doing so, but because through this work they will understand that no one in the home exists just to serve them.”

“…children need a gradual, incremental transfer of power and responsibility for family welfare as appropriate to age and situation.”

So ask yourself: What are your expectations of your children? Do you expect too much or not enough from them? “Participation, responsibility and maturity” are fostered through appropriate familial duties.

So the family is, as one scholar argues, a “school for critical contribution to the social good.” But it is more than this. It is also a “school of justice” unto itself. That is, the family is a school of justice not merely as parents work with children to reach outward to those in need but in its own internal dynamics. Families teach justice by the very way they structure the work and love of daily life.

What does your “school of justice” look like? Parents can be great examples and models of justice by our acts of service to all those around us including family, friends and strangers as well as making sure the pathway of parenting is paved with communication. A simple thing such as talking which we do everyday with friends and family can become harder as our children mature, but we need to make sure we continue to open our mouth, ask questions and make the kind of decisions which will help lead our children in becoming leaders of justice in their own right.

Crystal

1. Political scientist Susan Moller Okin as quoted in In the Midst of Chaos

2. From the Study Guide of In the Midst of Chaos written by Mindy McGarrah

3. All green text comes from Chapter 6 of In the Midst of Chaos.