Inquiring Minds Want to Know

Wow, has it been hard to do anything online lately, never mind blog! I've lacked the time, energy and motivation to keep up here, and I marvel at those writers whose blogs I follow where they are able to blog a couple times a week - kudos to you faithful bloggers out there! Most of the blogs I tend to check out on a semi-regular basis are written by moms with young children, homeschool and have a daily active spiritual life - who can do that?!? If nothing else though, they help to inspire me and help keep me focused on what's important.

After a very long and continually sick winter, it's amazing how much illness can change my outlook on life. It's hard to feel fulfilled in my role as wife and mother when I just don't have the energy to accomplish much during the day. Depending on others is tough to do when it seems like a constant thing and threatens to turn one into feeling like a "charity case." Feeling sick all the time creates guilt and places a strain on the marriage because it doesn't allow space for others (like my husband) to feel needy.

I finally had a couple of weeks of good health, and all of a sudden, life became more manageable, more than just tolerable. I was more energetic, and the house started to look like a home more than a pig sty. My children finally got to eat more than hots dogs, chicken nuggets and frozen pizza (much to their chagrin). I was checking out Flylady everyday and seeing how I could "bless my house". Life was looking up, and nature was singing. Hope springs eternal, right?

Then allergy season took over...

(x%^$#%@*! &^%$*#@? %#@<*! %#$@*&^! %*#&@^%!!) Though these may look like swears, it's just my brain screaming while drugged up on allergy meds...either that or it's some algebraic equation that my befuddled brain just created.

And I just want to know the secret to being content in all things.

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:11-13

I'm hoping this secret Paul's talking about isn't too hard to find out. Maybe the secret is contained in the last sentence, "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Strength is definitely something I've been lacking, and at this point I can't do anything through my own pathetic power. So trying to cowboy up and getting over my cranky, lethargic attitude naturally hasn't been working for me. Maybe I'll try the supernatural route again and give my day over to God again and see what happens. Maybe the baby will magically stop whining and crying all day long over his teething pain, the boys will behave angelically and my allergies will suddenly disappear. Then again maybe I can get through the baby's incessant whining by God's grace, the boys' sibling squabbles by God's grace and this season's fatigue, itchy eyes/runny nose and nausea by God's grace. Truly living by God's grace makes me feel very small and powerless which is what I keep discovering I am anyway.