The Heart is...Desperately Wicked. Jer. 17:9

 The greatest enemy to human souls is the self-righteous spirit which makes men look to themselves for salvation.    ~Charles Spurgeon

It's only recently I've seen the full evidence of just how unrighteous I am.  As Christians we know and have been taught "there is none righteous, no not one"* however like so many innumerable truths God personally reveals to us in life, having the head knowledge is nothing compared to having the heart knowledge.  I have to admit being a stay-at-home-mom with not much chance to actively break the ten commandments on a daily basis, it's very easy to get fooled into thinking one is a pretty good person.  Mind you, I haven't recently committed any mortal sin to prove how wicked I am - I just simply am.  It's how I was built.  God shed light on this one day by challenging me to "act nice" to my husband and family.  In the midst of actually trying to be "good" while speaking to my husband, words slipped out which I didn't mean to speak.  No, nothing crazy - no curse words, nothing one would even typically notice as being disrespectful; my point being that the words that came out of my mouth didn't come from my well-intentioned brain - they came straight from my black heart.  It pulled me up short and taught me no matter how good my intentions are, no matter how much I try, I cannot and never will be righteous. Every thought, word and deed of mine is tainted with my own sin.  At the end of the day, I have probably broken every one of the ten commandments is some way, shape or form and not realized it.  It is for this reason I must invite the Holy Spirit to dwell within me and control my thoughts, my words and my actions every single day.  It is why I must wake up every morning and commit to die to self.  It is the only hope I have for ever behaving righteously and being Christ to others.

I know that my selfish desires won't let me do anything that is good. Even when I want to do right, I cannot. Instead of doing what I know is right, I do wrong. And so, if I don't do what I know is right, I am no longer the one doing these evil things. The sin that lives in me is what does them. The Law has shown me that something in me keeps me from doing what I know is right. With my whole heart I agree with the Law of God. But in every part of me I discover something fighting against my mind, and it makes me a prisoner of sin that controls everything I do.      ~Romans 7:18-23 (CEV)


* From Romans 3:10