Thursday, April 14, 2016

Choices

Sometimes it seems like God is a big, fat teaser. It's especially hardest when life hands you unexpected surprises (a pregnancy, a job, a move - something hopeful) which then fall apart. You end up sitting there wondering what happened. Wondering why these possibilities were snatched away. Wondering why they were even offered in the first place. Hopes you maybe never even asked for. Dreams you never thought were within arm's reach that get dangled in front of your nose and then removed. Maybe something you've worked so hard for which gets further away instead of closer. In those moments, there are always choices. Choices to yell and scream, to sink into depression, to push God away, to give up. Choices to move forward, pray for strength and hope, embrace God. Sometimes we choose all of these. But the ache in my soul can tempt me to walk away instead of walk beside Him. But the knowledge of Who He is overshadows my weak resolve. My broken heart knows my healing can only come from Him. So while I kick against the sorrows life hands me, my black and blue heart tells me to run to Him. To crawl up into His lap. To cry and complain to Him. Because at the end of the day, no matter what happens, I know Who He is. He is not a teaser. He is not a bully. He is my Father, my Abba. And I am loved by Him.

Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him. Psalm 103:13

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort. 2 Corinthians 1:3

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1


Friday, July 25, 2014

It Takes a Village? Yes, Yes, It Does!

I know I don't write much on this blog site anymore, but I saw this post and it just screamed KAJIJIS! Anyway, when I read this, it literally brought tears to my eyes because of the stark truth in it along with the realization that this is what Kajiji Girls was all about. Life goes on and some things can't go on forever, BUT the needs go on as well and if we don't meet them, we starve and everyone around us suffers. I miss all of you so much and hope we can connect again soon! Enjoy!!

Every day I go about my life: drive my children to and fro, make breakfast, lunch and dinner, and change my baby's diapers in my four-walled house while the world buzzes around me busy and fast. My little plays on the floor and I watch him pluck toy after toy out of the large box in the corner of the room and although my life is rich with many things, I think about you because I miss the village.
I miss the village I never had. The one with mothers doing the washing side by side, clucking and laughing hysterically, tired in body but quick in spirit. We'd know each other so well: annoying one other from time to time, but never staying mad long because the truth is, we need each other.
The children would wake up early, as they tend to, and run outside, finding each other amongst the tall trees. They'd disappear into the field and forest for a day of play as we'd start our sacred work. We'd knead bread side by side, the littles at our feet, breasts, on our backs and in our arms. It would be impossible to tell whose children belonged to whom -- we'd all attend to the group of toddling wee ones, check on the deeply breathing babies, wave little hands off of our floured table, pinch cheeks and kiss boo-boos.
The days would be full of conversation as we expertly flexed a muscle that has since gone weak: the art of listening. Quiet empathy in lieu of passive judgement, and when called for, gentle, sincere advice. In our village, our members are our estate and we build them up.
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