Choices

Sometimes it seems like God is a big, fat teaser. It's especially hardest when life hands you unexpected surprises (a pregnancy, a job, a move - something hopeful) which then fall apart. You end up sitting there wondering what happened. Wondering why these possibilities were snatched away. Wondering why they were even offered in the first place. Hopes you maybe never even asked for. Dreams you never thought were within arm's reach that get dangled in front of your nose and then removed. Maybe something you've worked so hard for which gets further away instead of closer. In those moments, there are always choices. Choices to yell and scream, to sink into depression, to push God away, to give up. Choices to move forward, pray for strength and hope, embrace God. Sometimes we choose all of these. But the ache in my soul can tempt me to walk away instead of walk beside Him. But the knowledge of Who He is overshadows my weak resolve. My broken heart knows my healing can only come from Him. So while I kick against the sorrows life hands me, my black and blue heart tells me to run to Him. To crawl up into His lap. To cry and complain to Him. Because at the end of the day, no matter what happens, I know Who He is. He is not a teaser. He is not a bully. He is my Father, my Abba. And I am loved by Him.

Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him. Psalm 103:13

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort. 2 Corinthians 1:3

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1

Intoducing "7" and Our Seven-Month Fast

As Crystal mentioned in a previous post, our Kagigi schedule has changed to include a book-study / discussion group once a month. Last Friday we introduced our first book – “7: A mutiny against excess” by JenHatmaker. Here’s what she has to say about our American Dream:

                “How can we be socially responsible if unaware that we reside in the top percentage of wealth in the world?...Excess has impaired perspective in America: we are the richest people on earth, praying to get richer. We’re tangled in unmanageable debt while feeding the machine, because we feel entitled to more…The day I am unaware of my privileges and unmoved by my greed is the day something has to change."

 Thus she embarked on a seven month journey through seven areas of excess common to most Americans: Clothes, Possessions, Media, Waste, Spending, Food, and Stress. For one month each, she significantly restrained, stopped, fasted, or altered her habits in each of these areas, journaling as she did. Enter in her raw, hilarious and deeply convicting book, “7.”  

                “Seven months, seven areas, reduced to seven simple choices. I embarked on a journey of less. It was time; time to purge the junk and pare down to what was necessary, what was noble. For me, 7 was an exercise in simplicity with one goal: to create space for God’s kingdom to break through.”

 But like any good sanguine, she certainly didn’t go at it alone. “The Council,” as she called it, was a group of her friends who agreed to do this with her. “The seven of us conferred on all things 7. They were advisors, cheerleaders, decision-makers, counselors, collaborators, and brainstormers.”

If this creates a resounding “Amen” response in your heart, then won’t you consider joining our Kagigi Girl Council as we take up the challenge to conduct fasts of our own sorts in these seven areas over the next seven months? You don’t have to buy a thing. (In fact, quite the contrary. Stop it.) You don’t even have to attend our 4^th Friday of the month discussion meetings. (But we’d love to have you – they’re from 11-1:30 at Erin’s house.) All you have to do is indicate through commenting below that you are In and commit to reading and commenting on the blogs I will submit each month with instructions on our next fast and reflections on our previous one. Oh, and one other little thing – you need to agree NOT to make decisions about “exceptions” on your own – we will ALL be holding one another accountable and The Kagigi Girl Council will approve any and all deviations from your stated regimen for each month. We will also encourage one another and cheer each other on.

Before we take off running, errrr, fasting – let’s prayerfully consider Jen’s advise:

                "It is supremely important to get your head right before a fast. Take as long as you need to work this out with Jesus. Fasting for the wrong reasons is just narcissistic. This doesn’t mean you need to have all your junk together – hardly! You can come a hot mess like we all are, but come for Jesus. Come for transformation. Come for worship. Come humble and honest, open ad listening."

Don’t feel this way yet? Pray for it. Ask God to prepare you and render your heart willing. Ask about those blind spots. Put it all out there. Jesus can handle every bit of your honesty.

OK? If you decide to join us (even if you have already told me as much), please comment below so we can form our list of Kagigi Girl Council Members. 

 

Keep a look out later this week for the introduction to our March fast – Clothes. ;-)

Reborn

For those who haven't been privy to our newest updated schedule of Kajiji Girls, there are many exciting things going on!  Our month now consists of one prayer meeting, one workshop, one book club week and one topic-directed discussion week.  Since today was our first workshop, I'm excited to share with you what we talked about and learned.  Since it's all about Scripture memory, head on over to our blog dedicated to hiding God's Word in our hearts.  Oh, you didn't know we had one of those?  Yes, we do.  It's actually a couple years old filled with failed attempts at Scripture memory, but it's been reborn and reinstated to its original "glory".  So go check it out and see what our first Kajiji Girls workshop for 2013 was about....

Continue on to To Worship and To War blog

Depraved Indifference Short Film

Every once in awhile I check back with one of my favorite websites called Ellerslie.  Occasionally they post  inspiring short films based on a sermon by Eric Ludy, one of the founders of Ellerslie.  You may have already watched this one.  Heck, I may have already posted this one before, but if so, I'm posting it again because if you're like me, you can always use the reminders presented in the messages.  Be challenged!

Married With(out) Children

Is marriage without children really the key to bliss?  This article states it as scientifically so.  And if you are childless by choice, there's a number of resources out there including websites, books and DVDs to support your decision.  However if you are already a parent, it's pretty safe to say that you couldn't and wouldn't want to imagine life without your children.  But we all now live in a time technologically-speaking where one could choose to marry and live their life without welcoming children into it.  This is a brave new world where we are given that choice - before now, forget about it:  if you had relations, you risked pregnancy.  Big time.  And the mere possibility of children always existed.  But the idea of not wanting children is not a new one and was even mentioned in the Old Testament (by the way, God killed him for that choice - ouch, Onan!).  So will God put you to death if you decide to have a childless marriage?  Of course not, however I think it's crucial to understand something. God, as the Creator of all things, also created the institution of marriage and family.  When God sets a design in motion, it's to our benefit to follow that design.

From the Making Home blog:
God's first command to the first man and woman was to "be fruitful and multiply". Children were an intrinsic part of the original *design* of marriage. Children are repeatedly called "blessings" and conversely, childlessness was always taken by biblical characters to be a curse, never a good thing. Jesus Himself modeled a receptive attitude towards ALL children when He chastised his disciples and said "let all the little children come to me." And these are just some examples off of the top of my head.

There is nothing in Scripture that remotely comes close to "well, it seems wrong to deny a person something GOOD just because she's not keen on following God's design". Rather, what we see over and over again in Scripture is the idea of taking up one's cross and submitting yourself to the will of the Father. A focus on personal "happiness" or "fulfillment" isn't ours to focus on... abundant life comes from following the will of God.

I have to admit (and I'm not proud of this) when I cross paths with a married couple who has no desire for a child, I become immediately suspicious.  In my heart, I am guilty of judging them as selfish, focused on their own goals in life, the careers they want to build, the fun things they want to do in life.  The casting off of the responsibility of children is one practice I just can't understand (and yes, I fully comprehend that when we do not understand something, it is hard for us to not judge or mock or any number of things that get us into hot water).  So God forgive me for being judgmental and I pray He gives me His heart instead.  However those few times when I glimpse His heart in that kind of situation, I feel sadness.  Sadness at the lost opportunities, the lost lessons and the lost legacies.  I mentally picture their genealogical tree abruptly ending - no more family name passing on to the next generation. No children to help care for them in their old age.  No Thanksgiving dinner table filled with joyful noise made by children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren .

"Imagine a scenario where, on a Sunday afternoon, you sit idly for interminable hours slumped in your wheelchair in the tiny and stifling nursing home bedroom, which, due to overcrowding, you share with a cantankerous roommate. (Thank heaven she’s in the lounge for her weekly visit with her family!)

You think wistfully of your husband, now long departed. You begin to cry and your nose starts to run. You’d like a tissue, but you are tired and haven’t the strength to wheel yourself to the bedside table. Your diaper is wet, but you know the aide won’t be around for another 45 minutes. You know it is pointless to call for help; the home is chronically understaffed (you’re not sure why).

Enjoy the silence, the blissful quietude as you remember being part of a committed and adoring couple — without kids."1

Please understand this is not directed at those couples who can't have children, who have tried to have children, who have decided to wait just a bit before having children, etc*.  I'm talking about willful childlessness.  I am also definitely not saying for us all to be like the Duggar family and have as many children as your body will bear.  Or that a certain number is the right number for you to have.  Or that you can't use some form of birth control or family planning.  I can't even say that I fully agree everyone should have children.  What I am saying is for a Christian couple to deny the natural order of life ("first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage") is to deny the design God put in place for us.

Al Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, has this to say:

Christians must recognize that this rebellion against parenthood represents nothing less than an absolute revolt against God's design. The Scripture points to barrenness as a great curse and children as a divine gift. The Psalmist declared: "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; they will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate." [Psalm 127: 3-5] 

Morally speaking, the epidemic in this regard has nothing to do with those married couples who desire children but are for any reason unable to have them, but in those who are fully capable of having children but reject this intrusion in their lifestyle.

He also states:

The Scripture does not even envision married couples who choose not to have children. The shocking reality is that some Christians have bought into this lifestyle and claim childlessness as a legitimate option. The rise of modern contraceptives has made this technologically possible. But the fact remains that though childlessness may be made possible by the contraceptive revolution, it remains a form of rebellion against God's design and order. 

Couples are not given the option of chosen childlessness in the biblical revelation. To the contrary, we are commanded to receive children with joy as God's gifts, and to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We are to find many of our deepest joys and satisfactions in the raising of children within the context of the family. Those who reject children want to have the joys of sex and marital companionship without the responsibilities of parenthood. They rely on others to produce and sustain the generations to come.


For Christians, having children opens our eyes in a way we cannot do otherwise to the role of God as our Father.  When I had my first child, I became aware of the love that our Abba has for us and some of the same emotions we must share as parents.  This is a priceless lesson to learn and can teach us so much about Him and who He is.  Just as marriage can yield so many lessons in how Christ loves His bride, the Church, parenthood teaches us who our Father in heaven is, why He disciplines us and how much He truly adores us.  Like marriage, parenthood can be an opportunity to learn holiness, more than happiness.  There is nothing in life to teach one sacrificial love like the love learned in a family - of a wife toward her husband, of a parent towards a child.

Mr. Mohler goes on to say:

This epidemic of chosen childlessness will not be corrected by secular rethinking. In an effort to separate the pleasure of sex from the power of procreation, modern Americans think that sex totally free from constraint or conception is their right. Children, of course, do represent a serious constraint on the life of parents. Parenthood is not a hobby, but represents one of the most crucial opportunities for the making of saints found in this life.

Two purposes among many as to God's design of the family are so we can understand and love Him better and so we can become more like Him.

One last word from Al:

The church should insist that the biblical formula calls for adulthood to mean marriage and marriage to mean children. This reminds us of our responsibility to raise boys to be husbands and fathers and girls to be wives and mothers. God’s glory is seen in this, for the family is a critical arena where the glory of God is either displayed or denied. It is just as simple as that.

*I know there are always unique circumstances when a couple may decide against having children due to illness/handicaps, genetic factors, history of abuse, etc.  Those are the exceptions, I believe, and that decision must be made between a husband and wife along with their God.

** Click on link to read Al Mohler's blog post titled Deliberate Childlessness: Moral Rebellion with a New Face in its entirety as well as his follow-up Yikes!  The Hot Debate Over Deliberate Childlessness

1. From the article: Childless by Choice: A Decision You May Live To Regret.  This is a *must* read!

War

Sometimes I feel like I'm cheating if I post someone else's blog post here.  After all, shouldn't I try to come up with my own thoughts, words and lessons learned throughout my day/week?  Well, with the stage of parenting I'm in, sometimes I consider it a true miracle that I can even make sense of another's thoughts and lessons.  So without further ado, here is a phenomenal article about the spiritual battle we - and our children especially - face.

“We carry an insidious prosperity gospel around in our dark, little, entitled hearts.”  ~Matt Chandler- The Explicit Gospel (Crossway, 2012)

The Lord has brought this quote often to mind recently.  Perhaps it’s because I am still surprised and disappointed when things don’t come easy.  I want to believe that the “good” that God is working in my life is all about having happy times on this earth, rather than sanctification for the life to come.

My heart is, indeed, dark and entitled.

I see this tendency in my children, as well.  Truth be told, they learned many of their sinful ways from me.

It is tempting to raise my children in the type of fantasyland bubble that I crave for myself, in which their greatest trials involve choosing between vanilla or chocolate ice cream for dessert.  I would shield them from a bedrock truth about this life: that we are at war. 

Continue here to read the rest...