Wednesday, February 22, 2006

About Kajiji Girls

Every week we gather together to share laughs, concerns, opinions, food and life in general. Every week brings a discussion about various topics affecting our life – from finances to sex to self-esteem to parenting. We’ve discussed and debated many things, and we look forward to many more conversations with you as a part of our group (whether participating online or in our weekly gatherings). If you’re looking for “not-just-another” playgroup but a real spiritually-refreshing, mentally-challenging, emotionally-supportive Mom’s group, then come by and check us out. Since forming in early 2006, our group has been constantly evolving, but our foundational ideals have stayed the same. We recognize the innate need in each one of us for spiritual and emotional support from a community of women. There is a purpose to our socialization and a spiritual component to our group. We all have ideas and questions about family life, faith, love, friendships, etc., and the ability to share insights and thoughts with other women is what builds intimacy in our community.

*Feel free to read the introductory letter that started it all.

Monday, February 6, 2006

Beginning of Kajiji Girls

Dear Ladies,
Hello! I am so glad I am finally able to send this off to you! I have had such difficulty making time to sit down and compose this to all of you, however I miraculously have a few minutes as all four children (yes, I said “4” – 2 of my own & 2 child care kids) are sleeping. For quite awhile now, I have wanted to tell you about an idea I have – a wish or hope of mine that envisions all of you, my dear women friends (and some that I have not yet met), getting together on a weekly or every-other-week basis to fellowship with, exchange ideas with and support and encourage each other. I have such a heart for all you stay-at-home moms who labor intensively each and every day to provide for and clothe and feed and nurture our children and husbands and clean and care for our homes. And we do all of this in virtual isolation from others! Many of us have husbands who travel, attend school, work hard and pursue hobbies while we stay home and give more of ourselves than we think we have. I want us to have each other!

A recent question and answer article in my Focus on the Family magazine touched on this issue. I’d like you to read some of it here.
“Q: My husband is my best friend but often I feel isolated and alone because he just cannot meet my emotional needs. He doesn’t seem to understand what I want from him and it is so frustrating for me. What can I do?

A: One way to help is to supplement what your husband gives you by cultivating meaningful female relationships. Enjoy lady friends with whom you can talk heart-to-heart, study the Scriptures, laugh and cry, and raise your children. This is precisely how women dealt with social needs in centuries past. Many men worked 60 to 70 hours per week and had little time or energy for what might be called romantic activities. But a well-integrated society of women filled the void. They worked together, had babies together, cooked and canned together, and went to church together. And somehow, it was enough.”

“[In today’s society] female companionship is often difficult to find, and many younger women, especially those with two or more preschoolers, abandon the search for friendship. It is simply too much trouble. To the young wives who are reading these words, I urge you not to fall into this pattern. Invest some time in your female friends – even though you are all busy. Resist the temptation to pull into the walls of your home and wish for someone to talk to.”

“Remember, you are surrounded by many other women with similar feelings. Find them. Care for them. Give to them. And, in the process, your own self-esteem will rise. Then when you are content, your marriage will also flourish.

It sounds simplistic, but that’s the way we are made. We are designed to love God as social creatures; we don’t do well in isolation. Don’t let that isolation happen to you.”

I want our lives to reflect society “in centuries past” where we “work together, have babies together, cook and can together,” etc. I want us to be there for each other and love each other and care for each other. I want us all to discuss ideas together, give each other parenting tips and help each other to become better wives, mothers and, most of all, women! Our time together will hopefully be helpful, restful, enjoyable and spiritual. The group will be very small and intimate – it will be group-driven, not leader-driven. Children, of course, are welcome but feel free to acquire babysitters when you would like to use our time together to be “off-duty” and recharge. J I’d love for us to meet for the first time to talk about our options - when to meet, where to meet, what to reflect upon each week, etc. I would like us to initially meet on Friday, February 17th at 10am. And, yes, there will be coffee and refreshments. Please let me know if this day and time would work for you. I so look forward to meeting with you and investing my time into you, my friends and sisters in Christ.
Love, Crystal
P.S. Some of you are invited via Erin so feel free to reply to her also.
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