Reborn

For those who haven't been privy to our newest updated schedule of Kajiji Girls, there are many exciting things going on!  Our month now consists of one prayer meeting, one workshop, one book club week and one topic-directed discussion week.  Since today was our first workshop, I'm excited to share with you what we talked about and learned.  Since it's all about Scripture memory, head on over to our blog dedicated to hiding God's Word in our hearts.  Oh, you didn't know we had one of those?  Yes, we do.  It's actually a couple years old filled with failed attempts at Scripture memory, but it's been reborn and reinstated to its original "glory".  So go check it out and see what our first Kajiji Girls workshop for 2013 was about....

Continue on to To Worship and To War blog

Self-Help, Self-Schmelp

We are like children reaching for the stars,
and when we catch a firefly, we say we've caught a comet.

The other night when I was thinking about my resolutions, my prayer life, etc., I came to a certain realization. It dawned on me that all of this "stuff" I was trying to accomplish, all of those things that are to help make me a better Christian, better wife, better mom, all of whatever I'm trying to "work on" in my life really amounts to nothing if my focus is on me. I got to the point in all of my pondering when I realized sometimes I just get sick of myself. You know the feeling? When you just think about yourself and where you've been and where you're going, and you simply throw your hands up in the air and groan because you are who you are, and there's not much you can do to change that fact. It doesn't matter how many self-help books you read, how many advisors/friends you happen to have in your life, how many sermons you listen to - if your focus is on yourself and what needs to be changed, it will amount to nothing.

We all know in our heads that our focus should be on God. I can't tell you how many times I've heard that statement. But we add piles of "shoulds and shouldn'ts" to our focus, "change this and change that" to our central thinking, be more like Jesus in "this way and that way" that we completely cover up the one pinpoint Truth - IT'S NOT ABOUT ME, IT'S ALL ABOUT HIM!! If we could take one second from every minute we're beating ourselves up over something bad we've done or when we're proud of ourselves over something "good" we've done, and redirect our focus on Jesus, we'd have many more positive minutes and holy moments in our days.

Getting out of our own way and allowing Jesus to do - just do - would result in a much shorter list of our own version of "do's and don'ts." Our whole life would be changed just by redirecting our minds toward Him. Worshiping and praising God throughout my day would automatically result in me being a better and kinder wife, mother, friend, organizer, teacher...person. Everything I did in the spirit of praise would be done to the best of my ability for the glory of God. I'm not saying that one must go through their day singing hymns to God in order to be focused on Him though that would be nice. And I'm not saying that resolutions are for naught and life would be so easy, bright and happy if we just let go and let God though that too would be refreshing. We've never been told the Christian life is an easy one - it requires action on our part and hard work. But how does self-improvement have a place in the Christian life when we are to die to self? Improvement can only come from one Source, and it's not to be found innately within us. We are told we are born into sin, live a life of sin and die in sin. How can improvement or self-help come from that kind of primordial ooze? How can we possibly help ourselves?

Resolutions are great when we see the power behind achieving them resides not in ourselves, but only in God. We are encouraged to reach for perfection, but only Jesus can hand it to us. So enough about what I want to be like, want to look like, or just simply want...what does God want? Not my will, but Yours, Lord. That will be my new mantra: Lord, what do You want today? Then maybe, just maybe, my life would look more like Perfection than I ever dreamed possible.


** For a good article about self-help and Christianity, read The Half-Truths of Self-Help.

Resolution Update

So now that it's the end of January, you may wonder how my new year's resolutions are going. So am I... I feel like I'm still in the process of working them out - after all, intentionality is certainly not an overnight process. I fear my resolution may take until the next new year! But I will update you on my progress, and the accountability may help me as well.

I have been spending less time on the internet, but I don't know if it's because I have less time to give it right now or because of actual intentionality on my part. There have certainly been times when all I've wanted to do is check my email or look up something or other but instead chose to walk by the computer and spend time with my kids, clean or cook, or fulfill some such duty that's listed under the vast responsibilities of Wife, Mother and Homemaker. I guess you could call that intentional on my part so... yeah for me!

I've picked up my most favorite Bible commentary and started reading it again at night, helping me to get back on track with a nightly devotion time. I feel like it's an accomplishment that I just finished the 'dry' book of Numbers (though not so dry when explained by my commentary - that's why I love it so!) and am now on to Deuteronomy. I'm also psyched that my weekly women's Bible study has started up again. I'm excited to be studying Beth Moore's new Esther study, and I believe this will get me into the Word more than anything right now. Past experience with Beth Moore studies have shown me that they're intense studies but are so worth the personal time and energy to get through them and see what God has in store for me and how He'll work in my life.

As far as resolution #3 - becoming intentional in my life with my duties as a homemaker, parent, teacher and wife - that's been a tough one too. Not only have I been dealing with sick children in the house, lack of sleep and cabin fever (thanks to the 4 feet of snow out my front door!), I've also just added one more body to the mix by starting care for my friend's newborn baby. I've got a lot on my plate, but I feel if I can get organized and better at meal planning, homeschooling, etc., this will make life easier in the long run. One of my dear friends pointed me to an intentional planner online which I quickly bought and downloaded as I feel I need all the help I can get. I'm still in the process of tweaking it and applying it to my daily life, but there is hope. There is always hope!

My prayer life falls last, but certainly not least, on my list of resolutions. In the past, I'd been pretty good at conversing with God throughout the day as one would carry on a coversation with a friend/parent. But as each gift from God (in the form of a little babe) would arrive on our doorstep, it got harder to communicate with anybody in flesh and blood, never mind, in the spirit. I feel I always have an awareness of God and His presence in my life, but frankly, my prayer life could use a makeover. Harkening back to the blog I spoke of in my last entry (the "reckless experiment with prayer" blog), I was inspired by the idea of structuring my schedule around my prayer times. Now I haven't been successful at this at all, however I have stumbled upon the Catholic website Universalis which gives each day's Liturgy of the Hours. This has been helpful in making me more aware of giving my prayer life more structure and routine, and it certainly hasn't done any harm in that I'm methodically going through the Psalms each day (well, at least the days I remember to do it). Not being Catholic, I can still appreciate the well-intentioned custom of worshipping God morning, noon and night with beautiful hymns, psalms and verses as well as the benedictions of various saints.

Becoming intentional is the single hardest discipline I can think of because essentially it's all about becoming disciplined in discipline. It's like saying I'm going to try to become a more positive person by being happier more often. I guess it's also like saying I'm going to try to be a better Christian by not being such a sinner. Without God, this is impossible; with Him, we as sinners become saints and the undisciplined become disciplined. Lord, I'm going to need a lot of help this year!