Live longer - be a friend!

Hi Ladies! Kajiji Girls met at my house last Friday as the weather turned humid and rainy. We had a wonderful fruit salad and yummy scones (thank you, Erin & Shawna!) while we discussed the role of women in the church, the home and even somewhat in society. Jen Mello brought along a book called Why Not Women? and read aloud certain sections that spurned more questions and interesting debate. I look forward to reading it myself and learning about what this author’s research has found in terms of what the Bible actually says about women. (Is it just me or are there way too many books on the “must-read” list and too little time in a day?) Anyway, it was a fun and interesting time had by all.

I came across a really interesting article on homemakers.com that talks about the effects of stress on a woman’s health and how we deal with it. I’ve included it here:

“According to a ground-breaking new book The Tending Instinct (Times Books,
2002), by UCLA psychologist Shelley E. Taylor, the bonds between women run
"old and deep" and have long been critical to our survival. Taylor, a
world-renowned expert on stress and health, contends that women are
genetically hard-wired for friendship as a means of coping with stress and,
furthermore, we selectively seek out friendships with women -- not men --
when the chips are down.

Her research into women and stress has turned decades of stress research --
almost all of it based on male studies -- on its ear by suggesting that
women respond to stress differently than men. While men tend to exhibit the
well-known "fight or flight" response, Taylor theorizes that a more common
female stress response is what she calls "tend and befriend." She says our
evolutionary heritage suggests women who formed strong bonds with one
another were more apt to survive (as were their offspring) than those who
did not. Over time, women have learned to turn to one another for support
and solace and have thus become crucial to one another in times of stress.

"Female friendships play an important role in women's mental health," says
Taylor. "Women can hold off many stressors by affiliating with other women,
by building liaisons and forming friendships."

It also mentions an actual study done on female friendships:
In June 2001, the renowned Harvard Medical School's Nurses' Health Study
concluded that women's social networks play an important role in enhancing
our health and quality of life. The study went so far as to conclude that
not having at least one good confidante is as detrimental to a woman's
health as being overweight or a heavy smoker. (!!!)

I looked up the study online and found it to state that
“Contact with friends and relatives and level of social engagement were
significantly protective against a decline in mental health among women
living alone but not among women living with a spouse. These results suggest
that women living independently are neither socially isolated nor at
increased risk for decline in functional health status. In fact, these women
actually fare better on measures of psychologic function than do women
living with a spouse.”

What does that say about our friendships?? In the long run, our friends, not solely our spouses, are what help us to live longer lives and stay sane while living it!

Looking forward to our fabulous Friday…
Crystal