How to Avoid Mother Burn-Out

My dear ladies-

I recently read the following excerpt in a commentary on 1^st Peter. The author was talking about pastors, but had previously stated all could be said of parents as well. As I read along, it really resonated with me as I see my service to my husband, children and home as my ministries, and certainly with my children, I serve as a pastor of sorts. Read along. Wherever necessary I changed words to reflect our positions as mothers and placed those in brackets. My behind-the-scenes thoughts are in blue.

At times we need to go through the typical technique of “cold turkey obedience.” That is, we get up and go about our [child-rearing and home management] even when we do not want to just because God has called us to do a certain task. [Italics author’s] It is not unusual for a [mother] to awake some morning, perhaps not irregularly, and face the day with the wish that something else were to be done. Instead, that [mother] can take time with God and ask him for the courage of obedience to do the tasks of ministry in spite of a lack of passion about it.

Further, what [mothers] need most is the constant stimulation that causes growth and development in their own lives. You cannot give to others if you are dried up yourself. Stimulation comes from spiritual disciplines, personal relationships, and physical rest. This is what Kajiji’s is all about. Let’s all contribute some ideas on how Kajiji’s can meet these needs more and more. Here are some of mine: Practice some of the spiritual disciplines together – like fasting, meditation, prayer… Have some of our weekly discussion times be centered on getting to know each other and deepening our friendships. Have a spa session where we do pedicures and facials, maybe even bring in a massage therapist and take turns! [Mothers] have a pattern of overworking themselves and [families], unfortunately, are good at exploiting those tendencies. [Mothers] need to feed themselves by reading new and interesting materials (do you all know about our book club?), by finding other [mothers] with whom they can share their lives (both joys and frustrations), by praying and meditating so they can deepen their knowledge and experience of God, by attending retreats and conferences (do you all know about our Family Enrichment Weekend coming up in April??) that will challenge them to new and deeper ministries [both in the home and out], and by investing their time in the love and joy that comes from their families [and friends]. [Mothers] also need to take time off – weekly, quarterly, and annually. When they work too hard, they lose their joy for [marriage, parenting, and home management] and their willingness to serve.

Ok Ladies – time to fess up! How frequently do you get time off? What are the obstacles that keep you from having time for yourself? Are you willing to have accountability or work with someone to brainstorm how to make this happen? In what ways are you your biggest enemy in this regard? I have to say, I recognize in my own life the destructive cycle of poor-self care and it poisons not only me, but my entire family as well. The saying “if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy” is TRUE, at least in this house! If I want to provide my best to my husband and children, taking time for me is mandatory. Non-negotiable. Imperative. So, why don’t I do it as regularly as I should? Hmmm. Why don’t you?

After hearing about Susan's activities fast last week, this seems like a great time for us to tackle this topic together. I hope you will consider joining me for some discussion in this regard. (Discussion, by the way, can happen on this blog, on a Friday gathering, or over a Java Chip Frappuchino… the options are endless!)

Here’s to chattin’ with you!

Erin