Pursuing Passions

People have a tendency to label me as a “passionate person.” I have never really agreed with this label, I’ve only recognized the fact that people clearly know how opinionated I can be. I have never equated being passionate with being opinionated. To me, being passionate requires more than spouting off your beliefs to anyone who will listen. To base my passions on my opinions only produces a list so overwhelming I get exhausted at the thought of it. To legitimately call something a passion of mine requires more from me than just lip service. It requires action, dedication, commitment, and follow-through.

That being said, my alarming reality is one of very little passion. It’s true.

I am passionate about mothering. I spend the majority of my waking hours doing this. I have made countless sacrifices, read innumerable books on the subject and spend a significant amount of time discussing parenting with others. Even when I am in the process of active mothering, I am constantly assessing, evaluating and reflecting on this “ginormous” part of my life.

Every other passion I hold (or have held) pales in comparison, quite frankly.

I would like to say I am equally passionate about being a wife (especially striving for that Proverbs 31-impossible-to-meet-standard) but I know I don’t spend nearly as much time / thought / energy on this area of my life. Sadly, it certainly seems to come second.

No doubt I know I need to be passionate about God and that this really should be my first passion. But God is such an abstract concept in light of these two little people ready to demand more of me than I have to give at a moment’s notice. At best, God comes third. At worst, He is a bleep on my radar that I just don’t have time for.

I am passionate about health. I have spent a great deal of time exploring my own health and evaluating the care provided by medical professionals. Through my on-going struggles with infertility and chronic acne I have realized what I ultimately want is healing, which is rarely the goal of any health care professional I’ve met. I have come to a lot of conclusions about our culture’s approach to wellness and I have decided the common road is not for me. Instead, I spend a great deal of time reading and educating myself about alternative solutions and how to achieve true health and wellness.

I am passionate about making a difference in this world and have dreamed up countless ways to do this. However, I have come rather recently to realize the greatest way I can achieve this is through “training up my children in the way they should go.” It hasn’t been easy to admit this, because it requires a much delayed sense of gratification (or worse, never knowing the difference made at all) and it also requires swallowing a rather large pride – one that would rather have me center stage at a Billy Graham crusade or a Soul Fest – inspiring the multitudes with my words. But God is working on me – showing me the immeasurable importance of my task at hand – teaching my children so that they may teach their children and so on and so on, creating a legacy of God’s children that will last an eternity.

Lastly -

I am passionate about community. I don’t mean my town or my neighborhood. The New Testament word would be “fellowship.” I ache to experience the church of Acts in my life – faith-filled families meeting together in each other’s homes to study the Word of God together, to challenge and support each other, break bread together, share resources as each one needs, lovingly hold each other accountable to the commands of Scripture and be the Body of Christ. The tough part about this passion, no matter the reading I do on this vision, the time I dedicate to planning, thinking, dreaming, no matter the seriousness I take in approaching this topic – without other’s who share in this passion as passionately as I do, this passion turns into nothing but a dream.

This week, whether you are meeting with us or not, I would like to challenge you to consider the passions you have that are dependent upon criteria outside of your control. Is there anything you can do? Maybe, like me, you long for a new baby in your family – are you living as healthy a lifestyle possible to make sure your body, mind and emotions are ready to bring forth new life? Are you passionate about your marriage (but maybe your husband isn’t so much)? - are you focusing on trying to change him or are you honestly evaluating yourself, striving to be the best wife – the best “help mate” to him possible? Are you passionate about community or friendship, but find you lack a group who shares your vision or you lack that kindred spirit? Are you doing all you can to be ready, to be available, to be vulnerable and transparent, to reach out, even when other’s don’t seem to be reaching out to you? Are you living with right priorities? Are there more important matters being lost at the expense of pursuing another passion?

These are not easy questions to answer, at least, not for me.

If you are one of the lucky few who’s passions don’t depend on anyone (or anything) else, than I certainly hope you can say you are pursing them! If not, why not? What is stopping you?

I look forward to our discussions.

-Erin