Two Paths

My best friend is moving to France.  For a whole year.  There, I said it.  I may still be in denial about it, but I said it.  Besides death or divorce, this is probably the most traumatic thing an adult female can go through.  Losing one's best friend to another country is a difficult thing to swallow.  And having a baby just before being abandoned by said friend doesn't make the situation any easier.  So as I sit here in the daze of my fourth trimester as I like to call it, busy nursing, rocking and comforting my baby, my friend, Erin, is in the throes of her own chaos cleaning her house from top to bottom (did I mention they're house swapping with a family from France?), packing for an entire year abroad and saying goodbye to friends and family.  And besides being able to pillage her house and borrow whatever she's not packing and can be considered unnecessary for a French family to survive in America, I really see no benefit in this for me.  And yet God speaks to me and tells me there are lessons in store for me over the next year - in the words of Tim Hawkins, Yippy Skippy.

Though I don't idolize my friendships, per se, I can become very dependent on them.  After all, Kajiji Girls would not exist without Erin nor would Food n Flick or our awesome Thursday night ladies Bible study.  I may have some great ideas like starting something such as Kajiji Girls, but I probably wouldn't put it into action without Erin being my encourager and catalyst for such ideas.  This may be hard to believe if you know me, but being an introvert, I sometimes have a hard time being social or speaking up in a group or creating new events.  Even though it will be hard enough to get out over the course of next year with a new baby, it will be that much harder without the influence of my extroverted friend.  But God is telling me to learn to depend on Him that much more.  He will fill the void that is left when she leaves.  I'm not sure how He's going to occasionally babysit my kids or hold my new baby when I need an extra pair of arms or give me a cup of sugar or bake me crepes in the morning (ah, the tears are flowing now), but I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Though I have a houseful of kids and I homeschool so therefore I'm busy, God has shown me the times in my day that I tend to waste.  Now that I won't have the wonderful distraction of visiting with Erin or talking on the phone with her, there will be extra time in my day to do the things I need to do such as clean my house, take care of my kids, homeschool, meal plan/cook, etc.   You can only imagine how much time we spend each day conversing with each other or seeing each other and how that can impact my day.  She's established a great habit of every time she's on the phone, she'll clean her house or complete another chore.  However I haven't established that habit - enough said.  There will be new meaning to the verse, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."1  I get the feeling I will be much busier this upcoming year and much more productive, and I have yet to be given a thoroughly happy heart about that.

Anytime I have a problem or issue to talk through, I pick up the phone and call Erin.  Though she technically will still be only a phone call away, it will cost us money to speak internationally so we've decided to try Skyping with each other for free.  But using Skype will require a bit more "work" than picking up my phone and hitting the two buttons it takes to reach her.  However God has provided me with an amazing network of sisters-in-Christ with whom I can talk to, fellowship with and depend on.  I don't mind asking Erin for help because I know how much she loves me and is willing to help me with anything, but learning to ask others for help will take some effort.  It requires a different instinct to reach out to those one is not used to reaching out, but it's another lesson to learn.

It takes faith to love someone and then let them go.  I will grieve this year's holidays spent without seeing my "other family".  I will grieve every time I pass by their house now occupied  by foreigners.  I will grieve not seeing them as part of our house church fellowship every week.  I will grieve the times they, as my children's Godparents, will miss in seeing my children grow another year taller and all my new baby's firsts as well as seeing my own God-children experience another culture, another world and other friends.  It takes a LOT of faith to let them go - faith that we will survive this next year without each other, faith that I can be happy for them even when I'm sad, faith that they will stay safe, faith that they will come back and faith that the changes we both experience over the next year will not change our commitment to each other. It also takes faith knowing that God's lessons may be hard, but they will always be beneficial and "being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. 2

 

God's thoughts are not our thoughts nor His ways, our ways (3), and experiencing my best friend moving to France would not. be. my. way.  However seeing God provide this opportunity for them and how He has worked in this situation has been a comfort to me knowing they are on His path for them.  We can't always walk on the same path, but as long as I'm on the path He wants me to be on, I'll be alright.  May God converge our two paths together again quickly, and may we be better people and friends for the paths we're currently on.

1. Colossians 3:23-24
2. Philippians 1:6
3. Paraphrased from Isaiah 55:8