Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Three Passions

Thank you Erin for holding my hand as I make my debut in Bloggersphere. While brevity is most definitely not my gift, it is currently required of me tonight, as my three children are alternately playing adorably and squabbling annoyingly around me. I ask for forgiveness in advance for any lack of coherency and potential non-sequiters, as interruptions are the rhythm of my life right now.
So, passions....Well, I am grateful to have three primary passions at the moment. It was so interesting to read the history of Michelle's admirable passions. I won't get into my childhood passions because they were quite simple, yet essential. I basically desired love and acceptance, which are tantamount, I believe is paramount to pursuing more mature, other-focused passions. This passion was met and continues to be through Christ and the way He works in my life and those around me. Now I can attend to secondary, perhaps productive passions.
I am passionate about my children. I recognize, more deeply at certain times than others, that my mothering is about forming, shaping and nurturing a soul for eternity. Because it fulfills me so much, it is a passion. I often reflect on our family patterns, i.e., T.V. watching habits, dress, patterns of communication, and how we spend our time and money. I am satisfied with some of these domains and less than satisfied with others. Secretly, I get an occasional fear that I am raising geeks, as I don't allow much T.V., I wear the same clothes all the time, and am trying to teach some counter cultural ways of responding to life. I ask myself whether it would be safer to raise geeks or culturally "normal" kids, and I have come to the conclusion, along with my husband, that it's better to risk the former than the latter. But hopefully my kids will relate well to people in the culture without completely and personally identifying with it.
A subpassion of this mothering passion is homeschooling. I may lie awake at night thinking of cool projects and how to teach academic curriculum. I also fantasize, if you will, about how to help my children be imitators of Christ. This is by no means an obsession because I am so often an imitator of non-Christ-like behavior. Thank God that He can use both my good and bad examples.
Okay, picking up the pace as Fin crawls on me. Second passion is music, specifically singing. I feel that this is my most recognizable God given gift. I have not cultivated it, I just have it. In my vanity I would rather be a soloist than join a choir, although both are enjoyable. Ashamedly, have not used this gift as much as I could, but I haven't given up hope. I've sung at many, many weddings, a funeral, and my all time favorite, and truly one of my fondest life memories thus far, the subway with my friend Dom. So a New Year's resolution, about which I am still resolved, is to make a CD with him and distribute in hopes of getting some paying gigs. I can no longer tutor with the three children, but could do an occasional gig and have done many free gigs, to which I'm still open. It's the sheer thrill of singing and being transported. Sorry, sounds a bit New Agey, but it's the best way to describe it.
Third, is to be either a politician (unlike Michelle, this is a very new / recent passion) or a Catholic/Christian apologist. Having gone to a very liberal college and being VERY new in my faith (Junior year of college overseas) while there, I felt challenged to have sound reasons for my faith. I feel so strongly about this and have been dismissed before I could even articulate any stance. I feel passionate about my world view being true, versus true for me and pursuing this in order to have a satisfied mind. I feel passionate about the inanity of the abortion minded culture and the scientific basis for a pro-life view. Thankfully, I've had a chance to read a bit about this. Unfortunatley, I have not read people like G.K. Chesterton, Francis Schaeffer, C.S. Lewis, Augustine, etc.
Okay, you get the gist and I obviously did not meet my requirement, as there is a spilt bag of carrots and scattered flax seed on the floor and a broken egg on the counter. Should be cleaned up by Friday:).

3 comments:

  1. Oh Caroline! I just loved how you wrote - it is so how my brain works right now - with 30 things going on and interruptions - what mom can't relate? I am so excited to hear you sing someday - I hope you will consider doing so for us sometime. And equally exciting would be a discussion on political issues facilitated by you! Very cool! Congrats on your first successful post! See you Friday!
    -Erin

    ReplyDelete
  2. Caroline, this post was awesome. I am so glad you and York bumped into each other at the grocery store and we got to reconnect after years! Your singing of "Be Still My Soul" haunted me - in a great, Christlike way - when I first knew you in 2000, and God used the song and its words profoundly in my life at a time I needed it. Your voice is a HUGE gift from Him. I'd love to hear you sing it again (and anything else!) You are a blessing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Caroline, you are such a breath of fresh air! You crack me up, and I love that I can actually picture you at the computer trying to type while fulfilling your parenting passion! :-) I admire your honesty, your pursuit of truth and your nonacceptance of cultural norms in your parenting. You seem to be a born teacher/educator and your children as well as all those around you will benefit greatly from that.
    You truly do seem to have a musical soul, and I would love to get to know that part of you!
    When can we hear you sing? LOL Please let me know the next time you're singing in the subway, and I'll toss a few coins your way!:-)

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...